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After

Through the eyes of a survivor

November 15, 2012
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“I can’t bear to remember how ugly this world is. Any bit of beauty helps. Yours is radiant”

I said this to someone who had sacrificed herself to support her friend through her rape ordeal.

(more…)

3 Comments

  1. Thank you.

    All the words I tried to say, feeling the need to explain or excuse my pain…

    Thank you for your honesty, your sincerity is heartbreakingly beautiful.

  2. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your story.

    Some days I wish I was brave enough to tell my story as honestly or even let ppl know (guess I am in a way, but still not putting my name to it)

    Like u it was someome I knew, I even had a crush on him. In my head, I convinced myself it wasn’t rape, just sexual coercion (dragging me into a room, with me saying no repeatdly is coercion right?) He wore me down (by pining me down) until I gave in.

    So no I don’t think it was rape…well some days I’m not sure…

    The fact this story is very common, so many woman have been through this. Not to mention the stories of going to a party with friends, people u know… People u think you can trust. Get motherless drunk, pass out in room, only to be woking up by your friend drilling into you (yes that happened to me to. Though its not rape, it was dream wasn’t it?)

    Miss Shallow Poet, hats off to you for shouting off the top of ur lungs “he raped me”.

    I know that u think you going through hell right now, and you are. But it won’t always be like that, everyday just breathing without sobbing gets easier.

    Sorry I rambled a bit… But Thank You for being so brave and so strong. I might sound like a hypocrate by saying all rape survivors should speak out tell their story and not be telling mine (well with my name attached to it). But I honestly don’t know how and I don’t think I could deal to be honest. Its been 10yrs, roads been too long and though scars are too deep.

    So in my cowardice I salute you, wish you all love and light I wish for myself.

    Head up! And to those ppl who were so called “friends” FUCK ‘EM!

    :-)

  3. You are very brave…..u my inspiration……you know after I got raped!!!! By my COUSIN….I ddnt know how to feel….I mean I hated myself…blamed God…dat how cud he allow something so bad happen to me….it was only wen I got admitted in hospital for anxiety and depression…I became really angry!!! I’m in psychiatric ward!! Nabantu abaphambeneyo…how did it get to dis?? I asked myself…n the people you really thought would be the for you start getting fewer by days!!! Here I am in hospital…my MOM is getting a stroke…due to da stress!!!!! But rape does not describe me…the is more to me than just Rape n God wouldn’t allow such a thing without a reason!! I’m not saying rape can be justified….I did some soul searching n I realized that the Lord wanted me to grow from this!!!! I still feel the pain….but I choose not to waste it…the Lord wanted me to have a different look at life!!! With pain comes happiness!!! No body deserves to be RAPED but u need to forgive yourself…dnt beat utself up!!! I had an amazing guy..who was the for me(a friend of yours actually##hides) that is the only person that I can honestly say was there for me!! N for that ill forever be great full!!!!