Females of my generation, you have lost the plot.
They blessed us with this amazing tool called the internet, and we took it and fucked up our own lives with it. Seemingly, we really don’t deserve nice things. Females are never happy. Never. Well, not entirely.
You want a girl who doesn’t know you to stay away from a guy that you like; does she owe it to you to leave him alone? Does she know you? Does she even have to care about your feelings? If that guy has not stated that he’s spoken for, why then do you attack the female and not the male. Where is the logic? Real feelings developing from communicating with a stranger – it does happen and yet people say that words aren’t that powerful. Time, effort are energy are key, right? You’re speaking to her daily. You’re indirectly investing in her and what would the female mind interpret that as?
It’s amazing how much petty shit we’re willing to get into and deal with for a guy we’ve never met. Those feelings that you think you got on lock become more difficult to control. You struggle to keep yourself in check because you’re now emotional and it’s problematic. You overthink and over examine everything he says to you.
This made me think of a convo I once had with a male friend of mine. He spoke of how territorial men are. It is instinctively embedded in their DNA; they were born to protect and whether they choose to act on that or not is an entirely different ball game. That convo left me thinking, but it also reiterated what I had initially thought about women: We are just as territorial especially when given the impression that something / someone “belongs” to us. And that right there is the fuck up.
Emotions take control, you find yourself wilding and attacking other girl over a guy that doesn’t want to cuff you, or over a guy you’ve never met or worse, a guy who doesn’t even know you want him! Women suck at communicating with each other, we suck at communicating with men too. And as a result put ourselves in situations that’ll end up leaving us with nothing but hurt. I don’t have to like you, I don’t have to be your friend but if you want me to back off, why don’t you say something? What has silence ever solved?
And we tend to forget when we’re defending something that we have claimed (in our heads) that some females really aren’t the villains we make them out to be. If he was attracted to her, and you spoke to her, you too might understand their initial attraction. She may be the sweetest person in the world, but because she caught the attention of the man you want, you’re blinded by your jealousy and irrationality. You have a problem with her, cool, but don’t assume that she has a problem with you simply cause you have a problem with her. Also, the sooner you realise that you she doesn’t know you or know about you, the easier your life will be.
Approach your slandering of another woman with caution, he may be lying to both of you and that just makes complete fools out of the both of you. If my Twitter timeline is anything to go by, men are definitely better at the loyalty thing than us women are. They don’t go around befriending other guys to keep the enemy close, they go about their business without showing or rather acting out.
So think, before you slander unnecessarily and end up making a fool of yourself. Admittedly, no one wants their feelings to be tarnished but have you ever thought that the other party, the guy you want or the other female who wants him as well, don’t know about your feelings? I’m a firm advocator of speak your mind. As a guy, I’ll say there are times when my gut feeling is right about a lady BUT I will not blindly follow the “signs” because ladies are not just after me. She may be a sweet courteous being and I’m hearing wedding bells. Speak up.
A lot of times we see ladies go at each other’s throat for a guy and we always saying, “Wait…why is the guy not attacked?” It seems its only right that ladies attack each other because as a lady you need to sense that another lady has feelings for the guy you also have feelings for. I feel that mentality is crippling and inane. Ladies will slander the other lady and call her names, which in turn sometimes justifies the tags that SOME guys will put on women. I’m not condoning the shaming or ruthless names given to ladies but if ladies stood together more instead of fighting each other for the opposite sex, we might see a decline of “slut shaming”.
Some women even go to the extreme of befriending the “competition” because BFFs tell each other everything right? I fear such connections. As a gent, seeing all this commotion and drama by females makes me skeptical of the cliques and groups ladies form. A perfect example, two guys find out they are dating the same lady, they both leave her. Might even call her names but they both move on. Two ladies find out they dating the same guy, the ladies fight each other. Again, where is the logic in that?
Ladies are complex creatures that are barely understood by men and even less understood by their counterparts, ladies. But anyways what would I know. These are nothing but random thoughts.
Written By: Siphiwe Zwane (@SDotJR) and Lerato Mannya (@MzLee_)