Black people are stingy with their culture. Hey garz. I know my roast is already old news, but I feel that I owe this explanation to the people I care about and also to myself. Even if this falls on deaf ears at least I know I have had the opportunity to speak. Also, 140 characters could get a rapper to punch you fam. I need to watch my back if I still want guestlist on these streets.
Terms and conditions apply.
I know a black woman who hates black men. She thinks they’re all filthy criminals. It may have something to do with her daughter being raped by a black man. Despite this she is married to a black pastor. But you didn’t need her back story did you? You knew she was generalising.
A black American guy once tweeted about the notion that white men sleep with black women because it’s an easy lay and they need to stop getting ahead of themselves. What an asshole. But he didn’t trend though, you knew he was generalising. I tweeted about the injustice of black women being overlooked for the glory of white women and boy did I shine bright on your time lines. I think the braids helped too.
One of my followers (black) wrote a blog post slamming Islam. Black twitter smiled and nodded while maybe 2 Muslims who came across the post were up in arms. Pity they didn’t have enough followers to Retweet them, they really made some valid points. Of course the guy who wrote the article didn’t trend even though he criticised one of the largest religious practices in the world without doing his homework because this is black twitter!!
You can slander whoever you want!!
As long as it’s not black people!!
Unless you’re black!!
But it’s nice to be reminded that black twitter accepts me. Terms and conditions apply, while stocks last.
Y U no share?
There are 2 things I regret about my tweets. 1.) Not using the word “some” 2.) Using the word “culture.” My tweets were sparked by a bad reaction to Hagen Engler’s “Tips for marrying black women for white guys.” It was a lovely, tongue in cheek piece describing trends common to black people.
Let’s use the weakest example to illustrate my point because the premise can be adapted: Kenny Latimore.
Some people said the generalisations he made are trash. I called it culture, because if you pull the demographics of the Sunday Metro FM listenership you’ll find that we may as well call music culture. If you disagree please explain why BET exists. Music and culture go hand in hand. Culture doesn’t always have to mean beaded skirts. Why am I still explaining this?
One of my followers obviously did first year Psychology. Gosh, we ALL did first year psychology. But if you didn’t, please open up your browser because you’re probably gonna need to Google this. She’s a very smart girl so I’m happy she put it this way – it also helps me prove my point. She said that what I am doing is “appropriating” black culture. You go girl!
The way I see it, it wouldn’t be called appropriation if Hagen and I were black. BET has patented certain types of music so extensively that they were forced to invite snow white Justin Timberlake to their awards show because he makes their music. The same way you have associated white people to hideous electronic music that even they can’t dance to, allow Hagen to associate his black wife to Kenny Latimore, because white people really can’t dance to that music and Kenny Latimore is literally nowhere else but on Metro on a Sunday.
No harm, no foul.
So that’s what I meant by “pushing people away.” You do like it when people get to know you as a black community but they can’t get too comfortable and start appropriating n’ sh*t.
I wanna stop for a sec and thank you for all the lovely books you suggested I read and the wonderful history lesson you gave me. While you were tweeting me I was in a meeting and couldn’t even reply to Trends South Africa, I do apologize but I’m Sadie Wiggles b*tch and those mentions are long gone.
White people rule the world
When I say white people share I wasn’t referring to the woman whose house my grandmother cleaned. I was referring to your classmates; the model C child. When a black gah speaks laak this it’s kief boet. To the white guy he’s not a coconut, he’s just another dude on the rugby team or in maths class. To the white man, his way of life is pretty normal. Unfortunately history tells us he’s a narcissistic prick who forced it on us but until we nail free wifi for all, we’re a long way from time travel so there’s very little we can do about that.
Now when someone of racial variation does something “black” it goes one of 2 ways. Either “Urgh I hate it when white girls act black”, “My culture is not a trend”, “That guy is trying way too hard” OR “That’s dope” “Ayeye you can dance for a coloured girl” either way both are wrong. You want to be considered equal, that’s all you’ve ever needed, but you treat yourself a lot more tenderly as a black person.
You know that rich white family staying in Mamelodi? They received hate tweets from black people calling them condescending and referring to them being white. It’s like one of my (black) friends put it: “It’s like black people think they own hardship”. You hated Red October and yes it was ridiculous but a non-white guy posted a pic of a homeless white man on Instagram and captioned it “wonder what he thought when he saw a young black man in a Merc” or something like that. What the hell. I thought you said poverty has no colour.
Generations of oppression and the closest thing we got to an apology for the psychological and emotional scars is banning white people from calling us (the k-word) and ‘hottentots’ – for lack of a better word – (although there’s a school in the Western Cape called Hottentots Holland. Helen needs to sort that out.) And so you hold onto that. You remind people that they need to be nice to you, be sensitive, and while all that is happening life is just passing you by. White people rule the world, historically they saw to it of course. But if I could exchange my sins for losing the right to call someone a nigger I would. Nobody is expecting you to forget, but why did you jump straight to colonialism when I used the word culture? Did you even read the blog post? Will you ever see yourself as more than what history tells you you are?
The worst part of the roast of Sadie Wiggles is when I admitted to being a lil wrong and people came down on me even harder. You enjoy being angry hey? I really, really wanted to include myself in this piece and say “us” instead of “you” because duh I’m not white. But I’m not too sure I belong in a group of people who are walking forward, facing backward; missing what could be lying ahead. I don’t think I belong in a group of people who open their own wounds for sport. I know that there are people whose situations are far too dire to be as optimistic as I am, but they didn’t tweet me, you did: you first year psych students, bloggers and fellow pseudo intellectuals. I’m sorry for expecting so much from you.
And this goes for anyone with an inferiority complex; it’s not a black thing. I just happened to be roasted by a bunch of black people who would rather spend their time reminding people how special they are and how kind people ought to be to them so excuse me for directing it at them. Every time you want people to treat you more tenderly you allow apartheid and slavery to define who you are. Last time I checked, there is a lot more to being African and Oriental than what the white man said there is. Don’t be mad at me because you live by his opinion.
For one second put down the blunt, stop dancing in circles and listen to the lyrics: None but ourselves can free our minds.
Written By : Sadie Rhode ( @SadieWiggles )
Note: The writer of the above piece had the words, “After further study I’ve found it politically insensitive and harmful. It no longer expresses my view points.”